Often, I try different varieties of caffeinated drinks, in order to gain energy and stamina for performing my morning show duties. Although health concerns prevent me from consuming my old stand-by substances like 5 Hour Energy and Red Bull, there are others I am still fond of, that have a lighter kick and safer ingredients. One of these is Bang. Bang is “energy lite,” and comes in several flavors. All of them seem to be sugar free, and looking at the label, also devoid of anything else nutritional. In the past, I have come to enjoy the varied flavors, like (non-carbonated) Sweet Tea, Black Cherry Vanilla, and especially Grape (or “Purple Haze.”).
Today, I found “Rainbow Unicorn.”
Okay, might as well. The website I read describes it as “a combination of watermelon and bubblegum that seem to play incredibly well together.” I have two words that describe it more accurately.
“Unicorn Perspiration.”
Yep, if unicorns did indeed exist, and they had occasion to sweat for any reason, VPX Sports canned it up. It says “Natural Flavors.” I don’t recall these flavors either individually or together anywhere, ever. Besides the fact that the Super Creatine” it contains is very similar in name to Creatinine, a compound my kidneys previously couldn’t get rid of, until the transplant. I am assuming all flavors contain the same innards, just in a different color.
My recommendation: Stay with the others. I won’t abandon Bang by any means, but I will pass in the future on “Rainbow Unicorn.” I can endure the comments from the convenience store clerk concerning my choice, but not the sweat-like attack on my taste buds.
2/10
Owensboro, KY, USA
76 °F Partly cloudy
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